In Uncategorized on January 3, 2005 at 10:24 pm

yet another narcissistic note

when i was young i was terrified to be away from home. time and again i tried to leave 12505 E. 37th place for a night, and time and again i realized that i could not bear to be away. late in the evening, after my friend and i were played out, but before my parents went to sleep, the tears trapped in my eyes would start to flow and i would phone my parents in order to request a speedy return. after a time, things changed.

when i turned twelve my father went to work for american airlines. as a result, I was granted flight privileges and almost immediately became a standby vagabond. after my first trip, to spectacular, sophisticated cincinnati, i was hooked. i loved to visit other cities in order to see how they did life. after carefully observing the little distinctions that identified each city, such as the type-a professionalism of d.c., the suburban indulgence of dallas, the multiculturalism of toronto and the religious rhythms of assisi, i longed to incarnate these distinctions in my life. as a result of this longing, i found myself constantly on the go. charleston, south carolina, nice, france, vienna, austria were not merely destinations. rather, they were tutors that shaped the way i thought about both the world and my place in it. but, after a time, things changed.

after returning from our extended vacation i have realized that my vagabond instincts have vanished much like my beloved standby status. i now find it difficult to be away from beverly for more than six days and when my plane touches down at logan or manchester i feel a palpable sense of relief. after nine years of wandering i have found my way home. i believe that beverly, massachusetts is the place where my physical geography and spiritual geography intersect. i can no longer look without, to the cities and other ports of call for hints about who i am or who i need to be. Rather, it is here in Beverly that i will be who i already am. it is on this canvas that my life will be expressed. i pray that my beloved city is better for it.


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