Archive for December, 2007|Monthly archive page

In Uncategorized on December 30, 2007 at 8:38 pm


brothers and sisters, as much as it pains me to say it, i am convinced that we have an ass crack epidemic on our hands.

in years past, i’d occasionally have an unrequited and (usually) wholly unappealing glimpse of a fat crack and five dollar thong, but lately i can’t look to my right or left without being accosted by crack.

just on this trip alone, pix and i were subjected to a full-on glimpse of a wide crack ass that was not only half unsheathed, but sprouting black hairs. later, on one of our unfortunate trips to a commerce carnival, we saw a young woman who wore stylish black slacks that were quickly creeping towards the lower rims of her ass. even worse, she was toting along her young son and daughter who were sporting low-slung pampers and proudly displaying finely powdered and (as of yet) completely undimpled ass.

now i’m not calling anyone out here and will let all offenders remain anonymous. but if you are not a plumber, subjected to prison blues or being solicited for a vanity fair photo shoot, i would ask that when in public you properly sheathe your rapidly degenerating ass. proper coverage will not only please God but will secure my appetite and will help teenagers conserve water.

that is all. more meaningful posts to follow.


In Uncategorized on December 25, 2007 at 4:23 pm

a place for a manger

throughout the christmas season, the boston globe has been featuring a series of stories on Ma Siss‘ Place and the Quincy Street Missional Church in dorchester, massachusetts. through city on a hill and my friendship with aaron graham, i have had the opportunity to worship, serve and eat with the good folks at quincy street on a couple of occasions. if Christ’s first Advent had taken place today, i think Ma Siss‘ former chop shop would be a fitting substitute for bethlehem’s stable.

when you get a moment, please take a moment to peruse michael paulson’s excellent series on Ma Siss‘ redemptive community.

part one: birth – from a dorchester chop shop, a place to pray
part two: mission – a call to serve, and to lead
part three: crisis – a crisis year, and a christmas comeback
part four: future – and who, now, will lead them?

may Christ’s shalom be with you and yours throughout this holiest of holiday seasons.

In Uncategorized on December 15, 2007 at 5:17 pm


i came, i saw, i scrawled
searching for significance
by clustering consonants and arranging vowels

your words, my words
less a lens than a house of straw
the huff and puff of anxiety a threat to it all

still i work
less out of expectation
than an attempt to avoid waiting

the wolf at the door
the baby cries awake
scratching is the sound i make

In Uncategorized on December 13, 2007 at 5:02 pm


when i first moved to new england i assumed that i would be surrounded by thick skinned winter warriors who knew how to drive on ice, maintain the status quo in a foot of snow and laugh in the face of southerners who quake at the mere sight of a snowflake.

after seven years in the region i can confidently conclude that i couldn’t have been more wrong.

the greater boston area is expecting 3 to 8 inches of snow today and a single flake has yet to fall, but schools are already closing early, offices (such as my own) are shuttering at noon and the state is already paying new hampshire profiteers to clear uncluttered streets and roads.

when it comes to snow, new englanders are remarkably infantile and pathetic. back home, we would routinely drive through horizontal rain and maintain our composure in the midst of tornadoes. but here in new england, only local heroes will walk through a snow storm to secure a much needed gallon of milk. like i said, pathetic.

In Uncategorized on December 12, 2007 at 1:35 am

recently consumed

a couple of weeks ago i perused the nyt’s 100 notable books of 2007 and decided to knock of a couple of the top fiction pics while i was recovering from sinus surgery. i meant to get a little more reading accomplished during my five days “off,” but i only knocked back the books listed below.

then we came to the end, by joshua ferris
since this novel about a failing advertising agency has often been compared to the office, i thought it would be filled with snarky characters and riddled with cutting dialog. however, the tone of the book was quite different than that of the t.v. show. then we came to the end is not a comedy so much as it is a corporate character study on the way we – and i use that pronoun quite literally since most of the sentences have a 1st person plural subject – often loathe, sometimes love and always rely on our work. while reading the novel i did not laugh often, but i was often struck by ferris‘ insight into corporate politics and colleague relations. if you think you’re interested, i’d recommend picking it up in the library when you get a chance. it’s not a book that i would shell out money for, but i suspect ferris will pen purchase worthy tales in the future.

the abstinence teacher, by tom perotta
this is the story of a middle-aged, progressive sex-ed teacher who opens her mouth to discuss oral sex only to have a true love waits curriculum shoved down her throat, and a smoked out, divorced deadhead whose been captured by Jesus and called to keep his promises.* within the context of the affluent northeastern suburb in which they live, these two characters somehow stumble into the midst of the so called culture wars and unexpectedly find their lives intertwined in more ways than one. although i thought perotta’s portrait of evangelicalism was a tad simplistic, especially in regards to the variety of evangelical we grow up here in the godforsaken cesspool of liberalism, i was overwhelmed by his ability to portray the transformation that takes place when partisans truly receive the other. the abstinence teacher is a moving book that i heartily recommend to one and all.

what’s up next?

i’m going to try and finish krakauer’s under the banner of heaven because i’ve come too far to quit and i have heard too many good things about alan hirsch’s the forgotten ways to ignore the complimentary copy dr. james so graciously provided for much longer. i’m also thinking about continuing my nyt trend by diving into dennis johnson’s tree of smoke and have been itching to taste a little berry lately, so i’ll probably give nathan coulter a go sooner or later.

is there anything you’ve recently consumed and would recommend? if so, do tell.

* is that a tortured sentence or what? its a wonder i ever passed comp II.

In Uncategorized on December 10, 2007 at 8:59 pm

protect your test-o-clees*

* hat tip to buster olney @

In Uncategorized on December 9, 2007 at 3:48 pm

captivated by a clown

In Uncategorized on December 7, 2007 at 10:40 pm

note to self: avoid all future seminars on cocaine and the mystical christ

In Uncategorized on December 5, 2007 at 7:37 pm

for the record…

the blank page doesn’t fear me.

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