Archive for March, 2008|Monthly archive page

In Uncategorized on March 29, 2008 at 8:44 pm

you slowly realize you’re a bad daddy when…

you try to introduce your son to mrs. renfro’s habanero salsa.



In Uncategorized on March 28, 2008 at 1:51 am

open questions

why am i finding it so difficult to finish what i start?*

am i really a “lovable tyrant?”

how did an introvert like me end up becoming a professional networker?

why are southerners so damn secretive?

is there a reason i cannot get images of the diseased trees of north central oklahoma out of my head?

* books that are currently open, and unfinished, upon my desk include: the fellowship of the ring; intuitive leadership; johnny cash and the great american contradiction; the book of bebb; and God at sinai.

In Uncategorized on March 27, 2008 at 12:41 am

read and recommended

over at revolution in jesusland there is an excellent post that provides a non-religious introduction to shane claiborne and his influence on emerging evangelicalism. if you aren’t reading revolution in jesusland and you’re interested in the ongoing developments in this evolutionary experiment we call evangelicalism, you should be ashamed of yourself.

unless you’ve never heard of the site. then, of course, you are forgiven.

In Uncategorized on March 25, 2008 at 2:04 am

foolish wisdom

yesterday i became convinced that God has called me to focus wholly on the horizontal aspects of life and surrender the vertical aspects to Life itself. but today i was ambushed by another’s insecurities and accused of building a kingdom with another’s coin.

i realize that i was made for liminal space and i want to focus my life on reaching out to others instead of reaching up for the next next rung in the godforsaken ladder. but at the same time i refuse to shape my life around the insecurities of others. i have not surrendered my kingdom only to be rent asunder by someone else’s petty fiefdom.

i suppose all of this is an elaborate way of saying that i am really, really pissed off right now and tempted to war up instead of responding in charity. yet, in this moment, i am mindful of nalia’s reminder that it is by kindness that we can overcome the world.

In Uncategorized on March 21, 2008 at 11:54 pm

ecclesiological musing…

on thursday night i had the opportunity to oversee the maundy thursday service at the gathering.* i began thinking about the service on sunday afternoon and in about 5 minutes i developed the following liturgy, which i think is one of the most innovative services i’ve had a hand in.

when the participants walked in they entered into a dim and quickly darkening space that was lit only by a trinitarian triangle of three candles. as the liturgy began i shared a few brief thoughts about the intricate relationship between intimacy and desolation** that i perceive in the gospels and then we immediately headed to the front of the church where we celebrated the institution of eucharist by sharing the sacrament together.

we shared the sacrament sinners and saints style*** and it was beautiful. as we stood around the table newly baptized Christians practiced our common priesthood for the first time; local, first-time visitors served out of town guests; and the utterly broken offered this means of grace to the utterly broken.

after eucharist everyone returned to their seats, all of which were encompassed by the trinitarian triangle of candles, and the first reader read matthew 26:36-41. after the reader spoke of Jesus’ desperation for support and the disciples resultant slumber, the blew out the first candle then sat down.

immediately following five long, uninterrupted moments of silence followed. i knew that the silence would be awkward and unnerving, but i did not know that it would be so uncomfortable that i would find myself eventually staring at the second reader and inwardly pleading that she would get on with it.

eventually the second reader read matthew 26:42-43. after she had spoken of Christ’s willful submission to unrelenting agony as well as the disciples’ second failure, she blew out the second candle, then sat down.

five more, slightly less awkward minutes of silence followed. i tried to meditate a bit as i counted in my head to 300 and tried to work up enough courage to enact my portion of the liturgy.

finally, i stood, read matthew 26:45-46. after i read “rise, let us go. here comes my betrayer!” i asked the congregation to rise, picked up a large mirror, handed the mirror to a friend, looked in the mirror and said “here comes Christ’s betrayer.” then i quickly took the mirror from my friend, held it in front of her face and said “here comes Christ’s betrayer.” i then proceeded to stumble around the room, holding this large mirror in front of each participant and repeating this rather offensive indictment that clearly resounds through the narrative.

after each participant had faced the mirror and i faced the mirror a second time another three minutes of silence followed. then i clumsily plugged in a spotlight that shone upon a lone cross, took thirty seconds or so to gather my senses and offered a benediction.

i share my reflections on this service not to draw attention to myself, but to record one of my first attempts at developing a liturgy that draws the participants into an experience that resonates with, and hopefully reflects, the encounter recorded in the text. years ago my college preaching profs encouraged us to shape sermons that reflected the shape of the text. i have long realized the wisdom of that teaching and have often tried to fashion my logocentric sermons in such a manner that they reflect the biblical writers’ flow of thought. however, it was not until last night that i realized the value of shaping a liturgy that physically, intellectually, spiritually and emotionally draws people into the narrative of the text.

i suppose i also share these reflections as a way of repenting of the derogatory and, i fear, mostly uninformed accusations i have aimed towards folks like dan kimball in the past. i have long been disinterested with the practices and thought of those who i have labeled programmatic emergents since many of the alt.worship experiences i have had have been too individualistically focused and often, in my not-so-humble estimation, trite. i am now beginning to see how potentially meaningful communal liturgical services that are shaped by the text can be. i suppose the next step is for me to explore how meaningful liturgical services can also be shaped in part by the history of Christian practice throughout the ages, but the pixie is staring at me right now and i get the feeling that i need to get off this damned computer.

one more quick note: the first sunday of the coming months, starting april 6, my friend kieren and i are going to be visiting emerging faith communities throughout the boston area. we will be reporting on our travels on this site as well as kieran’s emergent wrestlings page. if you’re interested in hosting kieren and i at your faith community or you know of a local boston community that you have wanted to explore but haven’t yet found the time to do so, please drop me a line at

peace be with you throughout this holiest of holy weeks.

* take a minute and check out our new digs. it’s simple, informative and infinitely more accessible than our old site. thank you rhonda and elijah!
** i.e., Jesus is baptized by john in the jordan and immediately heads to the desert; the disciples experience the wonders of the transfiguration only to be warned by Jesus on the way down the mountain that they are not to speak of their experience until after His death; peter’s magnificent confession is quickly followed by Christ’s denunciation, etc.
*** look the person in the eye, speak their name, offer words of orientation (the body of Christ, the bread of heaven, the blood of Christ, the cup of salvation) and then the recipient becomes the servant.

In Uncategorized on March 21, 2008 at 1:48 pm

the passion of the would-be presidents

to smack your opponent rapidly depress “a s d f.” to move your preferred candidate, use the arrow keys. enjoy!

In Uncategorized on March 19, 2008 at 4:18 pm

The Dreaming Tree Has Died: Lamenting a Formerly Great Band

It’s hard to believe it’s been 10 years since the Dave Matthews Band released, in my opinion, their masterpiece, Before These Crowded Streets. As one who worshiped 1996’s Crash, I didn’t think anything could top it. I was wrong. BTCS captures what the band’s trademark jam/improvisation style and highlighted each member’s talent. Just listen to Carter Beaufort’s drums on “Rapunzel” or Boyd Tinsley’s violin on “The Stone.” What about Leroi Moore’s sax on “The Last Stop” or “Stay (Wasting Time)?” This was DMB at their best. Four-minute diddies are for radio bands. DMB are not a radio band, which is what made this album so great…radio tried to turn “Crush” into a hit by trimming the damn thing in half…all it did was strip it of its groove. Eleven tracks (though, at 40 seconds, “Pantala Naga Pampa” hardly counts), seventy minutes—in an era where singles are championed, it stressed the album as a whole…which explains the album’s many “interludes” (some of which are so badass, I wish there were lyrics and an extra six minutes to them).

Unfortunately, the dreaming tree has died. BTCS songs, by and large, have fallen out of the DMB’s touring repertoire, in favor of fan (and by fan, I mean the drunk a-hole and his slutty girlfriend next to me) favorites “Where Are You Going” and (please shoot me in the face) “All Along the Watchtower.” Instead of starting a concert with the fury of “The Last Stop”, they opt for the phone-it-in “Ants Marching” or “Grey Street.” I long for the simpler days…I saw DMB in Lexington, Kentucky on November 20, 1998. 13 songs played over 2+ hours, the bulk coming from BTCS…the definition of an ideal DMB concert. Before everyone from Delta Tau Delta got a copy of The Lillywhite Sessions and thought they were insiders…before Glen Ballard stuck an electric in Dave’s hands…before Dave traded songs about getting high for government manifestos (please leave political songs to Neil Young, Bono, or Bright Eyes)…Before These Crowded Streets found a way to capture everything that was right about a once great band. Looking back ten years, sad to say, this was the last stop.

Kevin Smith Clark

In Uncategorized on March 18, 2008 at 1:44 am

memorandum from captain random

on sunday morning a young man who has been attending the gathering for only a few weeks came forward to make a confession of faith and be baptized. during his confession the guy said something like: “i don’t know if any of you would call yourselves born again, but i feel like i have been born again. after a long period of struggle God has given me the faith of a child and i now know what it is to be filled with wonder.” this confession was at once remarkably beautiful and a little peculiar, for as pastor phil and i discussed after the service, neither of us has used “born again” language to talk about the reconciliation of God in many years,* yet this man still spoke of God’s radical work of restoration in this way. needless to say it was a beautiful sunday.

preston took his first tottering steps today. when interviewed later he responded that it was one small step for man and one giant leap for preston-kind.

i have the pink-eye yet the pix incessantly swears that she didn’t fart on my pillow.

i am currently struggling through my last seminary class and considering whether i should show up at graduation with obama ’08 plastered across the top of my mortar board.

there is a lot of cool emergent stuff coming up in the next couple of months. on april 29th will sampson will be visiting the boston cohort in order to discuss themes related to his book justice in the burbs. then, on august 3rd doug pagitt, tony jones and mark scandrette will be stopping by the gathering to belatedly commemorate the seventeenth anniversary of sadaam hussein’s toppling of kuwait, hold court on why Christians shouldn’t just pray and talk a little about their new books as well. good times.

* in fact, i don’t think i have ever used that language to describe my, or prescribe others’, experience. not that there’s anything wrong with that.

In Uncategorized on March 17, 2008 at 9:07 pm

i’m an idiot. please save me from myself.

as i’ve mentioned once or twice before in this space, reciprocity is a sonuvabitch. last week i admonished the pix for letting preston play with her cell phone since, as i wisely noted at the time, “he will definitely break it and we don’t have the money to replace it.”

based on your knowledge of the gentry law of marital reciprocity you can no doubt guess what happened next .

as a result i am currently looking for a used sprint phone that i can transfer my data onto and use for personal and business use. if you have an old sprint phone lying around or have a friend who might an extra burner, please take advantage of this opportunity to save me from myself. i’d also be willing to purchase a used sprint phone if it is in good condition, includes a charger and costs less than $20.

now if you’ll excuse me, i have things to do, people to meet and words to eat. f*&^!!!

In Uncategorized on March 9, 2008 at 9:37 pm

ecclesiological portraits: the gathering

for the past year and a half i’ve wanted to visit various emerging forms of church in the greater boston area and issue reports on this site. the intent of these ecclesiological portraits would be to explore the diversity of emerging communities in the area and provide a brief introduction of the communities to interested parties. eventually, i would like to visit communities such as seven mile road in malden, mosaic boston, the crossing, and reunion christian church in boston, quincy street missional church in quincy, a few of the neo-monastic communities, the sunday evening service at international community church and other communities* that i am currently ignorant of but will hopefully, eventually explore.

anyway, since this is my first, and perhaps only, ecclesiological portrait, i thought i would start with the gathering in salem, my family’s church home.**

6:05 – people are starting to assemble, grab a cup of tea and catch up with one another. a few of these individuals such as – aaron s., erin, pastor phil and pastor phil part deux, kieren, carlos and elizabeth – are bloggers or have some other form of web presence. feel free to check their sites out.

6:20 – it’s 6:20 and a bakers dozen of us have joined for the evening service. pastor phil has lowered the lights, a multitude of candles are lit and phil is strumming his guitar and introducing us to the text and topic we will be exploring together this evening.

6:24 – after a long introduction pastor phil encourages us to read together the gathering’s declaration of simple faith, a statement which not only expresses some of our community’s convictions, but reminds us of the gentle and open manner in which we hope to treat one another. text of a declaration of simple faith.

i will follow the simple ways of Jesus
i will try to be: open and accepting, simple and genuine, honest and caring
i will try not to be: judgmental and exclusive, complicated or disingenuous, secretive
or self-serving
i will listen, i will learn
i will remember that God’s gentleness makes us great

6:41 – we are currently in the midst of a rather long worship set that is populated with wow worship standards such as arms of love and more love, more power*** as well as a few songs such as as a memorial that were written by pastor phil or other members of our community.

6:44 – we’re currently in a series in which we are exploring the gift of the Holy Spirit. this series has included sermons on miracles from john 4, an unabashedly evangelical and fiery sermon on acts 1:1-10**** and tonight is leading us to consider the healing words of Jesus beside the pool of bethsaida in john 5. pastor phil just ended a period of silence, which was awkwardly punctuated by the clicking of my keys, by talking about the Spirit of God as ruah, or the breath of God, and asking the participants what associations this understanding of the Spirit provoked in the hearers. brother michael, the sole pentecostal, eastern orthodox monk among us, reported that the breath of God within him makes him want to never hear again. two others also offered reflections, but i couldn’t hear them in the silence of this room, over the clicking of my keys.

6:52 – just realized my font is jacked. happy, happy, joy, joy!

6:55 – in the midst of my pissed offness, kieran offered a reading from uh, somewhere, and brother michael offered a reading from psalm 119:105.

6:58 – people are sharing their frustration, bewilderment and surprise at the difficulty of their spiritual journeys. one participant states that she expected that her walk with God would be like traversing a beautiful bridge while holding hands with a god who was showering her with flowers. fortunately, she said that God is still with her, but the bridge is rickety and the flowers, non-existent.*****

7:05 – pastor phil begins his discussion of Jesus at bethsaida by mentioning that the healing waters of the pool remind him of the stories he has heard of the shrine at lourdes. apparently the rcc has only documented 65 confirmed healings at lourdes, but that has not stopped 4 – 5 million annual visitors from going to lourdes to seek healing. after this brief introduction, phil reads the text.

open question: what is it that inspires people to wait upon God?

responses: the people are hungry

what i hear in this text is a great amount of trauma and struggle. i am a trauma survior…what i see here is how grief can immobilize you and how tears can release you and set you free to experience life. it is really miraculous when we have the courage to look inside and be human no matter what.

pastor phil: there are many of us who have experienced a clear, dynamic movement of God which has brought us to a place of experiencing His presence.

i just kept focusing on the stirring of the waters of bethsaida. then i thought of the apostle paul who told us to stir up the gifts of God that are within us. it’s like sugar that sits at the bottom of a cup of coffee. your coffee won’t be sweet unto the taste until you stir it up.

you’ve got to listen to the still voice. the voice will not argue with you, you have to chose to listen and once you listen you need to follow. it takes practice and experimentation.

7:20 – pastor phil: i want everyone to take a moment and share one word that right now expresses the attribute or characteristic that you think the Lord is looking for in your heart in regards to this specific issue of waiting on Him. what characteristic do you think God is looking for most?

love; stings;****** genuineness; marriage; desert; watchfulness; understanding; communion.

pastor phil: why desert?

me: because God is calling me into the desert. lately i’ve felt a fear of the silence and, in my heart, a fear of silence is a fear of God.

pastor phil: patience came up twice. why? we’ll wait patiently.

participant: because it is a struggle.
participant: because our world moves so quickly.

7:31 – i would like to take a quick commercial break to introduce you to cade’s new pageant production gig. i’ve heard that something needs to revive the miss america pageant and i’m (desperately) hoping that this is that something.

7:36 – i’m quickly losing interest in the free form discussion, but i am apparently the only one in the room who’s wrestling with this malady. people are truly engaged in the back and forth.

phil: in the back and forth i see a beautiful kalediscope of emotion, experience and pursuit of the path that we have. i tend to view the path we’ve been given as tailor made. God has not stamped out a path that all of us have to do just right to discover Him. we know simple things, such as out of john 17 – this is life that they know me, the one whom you have sent – but along our path we will be challenged by unique elements. in a particular season one of us might hear and need, hope, another commitment, another boldness…

7:44 – participant: i was really hoping we could sing more love, more power. i love that song.

phil: i was going to sing that. let’s close with that.

7:51 – still singing more love, more power. must be the extremely extended edition.*******

7:54 – announcements. there’s a small group, women’s group, open discussion group and movie night coming this week.

* to wit: if anyone knows of a synagogue 3000 related community that is currently meeting in the area, please let me know.
** in the interests of full-disclosure, i should also note that i serve on the gathering’s pastoral staff.
*** but, fortunately not Lord i lift your name on high or as the deer.
**** i’m glad that one isn’t available on the internet. i still believe almost every word i said, but even i can’t grasp the implications of some of the things i said. i am simply not ready to wrestle with some of those matters over the internet.
***** while i sit here thinking that her ideal god must look a lot like mike myers in love guru. .
****** it also hurts.
******* it’s also quite contemplative, beautiful and capped off with a celtic benediction known as God’s aid.

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