five simple reasons the cardinals should sign barry bonds

1. the man can rake.

2. his defensive liabilities can be offset by late inning defensive substitutions.

3. he’ll make the major league minimum and would be easy to release.

4. history has proven that larussa can wrangle the roiders.

5. affirmative action. the cards only have 1 african–american player and i don’t think rico washington will be around for long.