who’s under construction?

In Uncategorized on July 22, 2010 at 2:41 am

“there is no such thing as a self-constructed life. there is only being in Christ, or there is the nothingness that others create for us. pastors struggle with this as much as anyone.” -m. craig barnes, the pastor as minor poet

it started at least as early as high school. after four years of self-destruction i went to the citadel in hopes of finding a form fitting identity.

when that dream crumbled in the span of three days i drank myself into a fraternity. that experience was quite successful. i haven’t spoken to a fraternity “brother” since 1996 and i would sell gladly ritual secrets for two cents if i could remember them.

i fled the fraternity for the cinder block cells of soybean bible college. upon arrival my dorm dad – after hearing a rant about the removal of mtv from the campus cable system – identified me as a preacher, a calling that has shaped my life ever since.

and yet i still slide into self-construction – maybe i should be a sped teacher, a lawyer, a bartender – instead of surrendering to the gracious calling that defines me and finding ways to embody that calling in office meetings, the living room & the closet.*

God forgive my ex nihilo pretensions and fill me with the Spirit required to respond to you and serve others.

* not that closet, but given the aforementioned history, who knows?

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