Nag, Nag, Nag!….Woman, if you don’t shut up…

In Uncategorized on March 12, 2011 at 9:06 pm

Submitted By: Slowfo

….and start actually doing what I tell you to do, then your role in this marriage is about to become superfluous. You’ve been running your yap for so long that your words are like a Charlie Sheen rant……making sense only in your world and completely laughable. You’re so hung up on the technical vows that were said on our marriage day that you have almost completely ignored the more legitimate needs around us, choosing instead to talk, talk, talk. Don’t you understand that when we first professed our love and made it public that it was so everyone would know that things had changed. No one knew our love at that time so it was obvious that we should tell everyone. In today’s information age, we can post our love on Facebook and the world knows; so now they know…. and it’s time to shut up and quit nagging everyone with how much better our love is and just show them. Our friends and family are on information overload, they don’t need to know more about us; they need to see more about us.

And look, you’re pretty, ok? The love we share is what is so attractive, not worrying so much about your image all the time. There’s no more reason to do all the lip plumping and boob jobs …trying to get everyone to notice you and how “sexy” and “hip” you are. Frankly, all of your attempts to be so young and “today” are just coming across as shallow. Just be you. That’s the bride I fell in love with.

I do get frustrated with how uppity and annoying you can sometimes be to everyone and how desperate you can come across as you’re trying so hard to be accepted. I understand where all of that’s coming from, but let’s start fresh, ok? How about this…maybe for Lent, and hopefully for an infinite time thereafter, stop sharing so much with your words and start sharing our love through unexpected actions of love and compassion. And please, just relax and rest in the fact that you and I share a love that cannot be compared….that’s why people are attracted to us, not because you try to fit in so much. It’s our active love for each other and our world that will truly make the difference. Hon, I will always love you as my Bride, just follow the example I’ve set for you.

Reward: $30,000

To all of you Christians out there, I’ve been informed by someone in the rug-importing business (I really hadn’t even thought about how there was such a thing), that recently a “church” spent $30,000.00 (yes, that’s right, THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!) on a rug for their church building. Be on the lookout for whichever congregation has done this. If you see a rug in your church, ask how much it cost….I’m sure the homeless would love to wrap themselves in it for warmth (thanks to jg for that line). For that matter, go look around your church and if you see something that probably isn’t needed but looks expensive, ask how much it cost. You’ll become quite popular with the church staff, I’m sure. Seriously, we need some checks and balances here folks.

  1. Oh man, this is so familiar…

    Back in my professional benevolent ministry days, the host church (ie, mother ship) re-carpeted their building. This was in hopes to make everything new and pretty for the pastor’s 10th anniversary with the church. Our ministry could no longer use that area of the building to serve food and sleep the homeless due to new carpet.

    And the world spins on…

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